SB Nation sources have confirmed the true story of Kyle Lohse's mysterious forearm injury. He decided to tell it to someone who draws like a fifth grader.
Jul 30, 2010 - To set the scene, the year is 2008, and Kyle Lohse just pitched pretty well for the Cardinals while on a very team-friendly one year contract. Lohse actually missed his last start of the season because General Manager John Mozeliak was in such a rush to sign him to a four year, $41 million contract. I shit you not, that actually happened.
After the initial shock of being awarded a $41M contract for one good season, Lohse ponders the best ways to spend his new found gains.
After injuring his forearm riding one of his many dirtbikes, Lohse decided not to inform the Cardinals, instead conspiring with fellow gearhead and rad dude Ron Mahay to make Lohse's injury appear baseball related.
Lohse tells the team his arm hurts, but does not disclose the fact that it hurt exactly as it would if he were some weird European motocross rider who rode a few too many dirtbikes.
Following an injury plagued 2009, the Cardinal front office was certain that Lohse's injuries were behind him and that he would be the rotation rock they were paying him to be.
After the injury shockingly pops back up in 2010, Lohse finally admits to being addicted to dirtbikes and receives the proper help he is desperately in need of. This weekend will be Lohse's second rehab start in Memphis since a "successful" surgery. Let us go to the KSDK studios, where Rene Knott is hosting a very special episode of "Cardinals Nation: Wings of Hope."
And you know where this is going...
10 comments
Comments
fritzi, your best work to date
by d-dee on Jul 30, 2010 12:25 PM CDT reply actions
Awesome.
Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Also, Dave Concepcion.
by RiverRat on Jul 30, 2010 12:43 PM CDT reply actions
No way to rec posts here @sbn St lou?
Asshattery: it's an epidemic.
Also, Dave Concepcion.
by RiverRat on Jul 30, 2010 12:43 PM CDT up reply actions
Oh the memories
I am pleasantly pleased, thankyouverymuch
by mattyfrommo on Jul 30, 2010 12:55 PM CDT reply actions
Excellent
"I told myself from the very beginning: 'If he's going to throw a shutout, then he's going to tie,'" Wainwright said. "He was not going to beat me today."
by spfldbird on Jul 30, 2010 1:52 PM CDT reply actions
hahaha
"He’s in his own world out there. He says he doesn’t cuss. I disagree." - Skip Schumaker on Jason Motte
STOP TRYING TO TRADE SHELBY MILLER!!
by BVHeck on Jul 30, 2010 2:58 PM CDT reply actions
meanwhile, sbnation saves me from a forearm injury
by omitting a rec button because i want to REC THIS SO HARD.
"on gameday it says duke loves to face the four seamer and hates to face the four seamer" -VolsnCards5
"perhaps it's a computer joke about the duality of man." -tom s.
by Tudor's Electric Fan on Jul 30, 2010 8:27 PM CDT reply actions
....
wait,,,, am i allowed to post here?
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars
by gdm426 on Jul 31, 2010 12:04 AM CDT reply actions
Awesome.
He hit it good. He hit it good.
by Jack618 on Jul 31, 2010 12:31 AM CDT reply actions
I enjoy the fact that Rene isn't hand drawn.
"He's the straw that makes the drink go."
by Thelonious Dunk on Jul 31, 2010 7:40 PM CDT reply actions
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