The 2012 Kentucky Derby is just days away—you'll be able to tell when exactly, as we do customarily in St. Louis, when Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon goes off "on assignment" sometime in the very near future. And if you're as uncertain as I am about horse racing, horses, and the state of Kentucky, you might be looking for a preview that makes you sound like an expert as you sip mint juleps. I am not the man to give you that preview, but I am the man to link to it: Here's SB Nation proper's list of Kentucky Derby contenders, from favorites like Grace Hall and On Fire Baby to speedy longshot Trinniberg.
This is my plan: I'm going to take a good look at the 2012 Kentucky Derby schedule, I'm going to read all I can about these horses, and I'm going to high-hat the snappiest dresser I see on the day of the actual race. That's what you're supposed to do, at parties like this: On your first day, beat up the snappiest guy there.