Like Mike Leake in a Macy's, adulthood has stolen many of my fondest memories. However, it has not taken my memory of the days when I once ruled the world and was allowed to CHOOSE MY OWN ADVENTURE(!). Anyway, this is awkward... So, here we are.
[Back of cover blurb: The crack of the bat! The pop of the glove! It's baseball season! in Choose Your Own Adventure #1: Cardinals Vs. Reds, and you're choosing your own adventure in Busch Stadium, where Brandon Phillips and the St. Louis Cardinals are still pissed off at each other! You're Chris, a boy who realizes suddenly that he's in control of what happens in the Cardinals and Reds' newly violent rivalry!! Pitch to win, but watch out for weaponized strains of pink-eye, taunting Twitter feeds, and pitchers with acoustic guitars!!!]
Chris Carpenter faces Brandon Phillips. Would you like Chris Carpenter to:
Good luck, thank you for playing, and please remember the life lesson that I hope this Choose Your Own Adventure taught you: That 30-year-olds will not get over their childhoods until Mr Men is made into a full length, live action film and all of our memories are proved to be for naught.
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