Edwin Jackson's First St. Louis Cardinals Start: How To Express Your Colby Rasmus Agony

Colby Rasmus is now a member of the Toronto Blue Jays, who play on a big farm where he's allowed to pull the ball all day, and his manager likes it when he hits home runs, and while any good sabermetrically inclined St. Louis Cardinals fan is deeply distressed about losing the team's cost-controlled center fielder of the present it's hard to avoid getting a little excited about the Cardinals acquiring a new starter--one who doesn't pitch to contact and has, in the past, been known to pitch specifically to avoid it. How, then, do you properly express your Colby Rasmus angst without slighting Edwin Jackson's first start with the club?

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1. Quietly wear your "modified Rasmus jersey" while cheering Jackson like any other Cardinals fan. The key to proper appreciation, such as it is, of each of this trade's compenents is to compartmentalize it as best you can. When Jackson is pitching--hopefully another not-especially-great no-hitter--you can't be thinking about Colby Rasmus's smooth home runs, but you'll still have to be representing them somehow. Consider this VEBer's modified-jersey approach as a way to commemorate Rasmus's lost potential without having to keep it at the front of your mind. This is the low-impact option.

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2. Keep asking where Colby Rasmus is while cheering Jackson like any other Cardinals fan. This is another option dependent on your subtle but firm refusal to accept the current order of things. As the modified-Rasmus-wearer refuses to retire his shersey, you refuse to stop complaining about how Tony never plays Colby anymore, and what is he waiting for, and this pitcher is great but I can't believe the Blue Jays only asked for Trever MIller and P.J. Walters. This is the non-violent rebellion option.

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3. Call Edwin Jackson Colby Rasmus for the rest of the season. Great pitch, Colby! Smooth fastball! Way to bring the cheese! Your friends might not appreciate it, but you've made the decision to pretend that Colby Rasmus has always been a big, hard-throwing, black starting pitcher, and you will stick to it until the end. This is the kind-of-disconcerting option, and it is your right as a Cardinals fan. 

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