Take heart, Corey Patterson fans, the Milwaukee Brewers have signed the erstwhile Cubs super-prospect to a minor league deal. Take heart, Brewers fans, the deal isn't attached to any MLB Spring Training invitation. (As for St. Louis Cardinals fans, consider it confirmed that the universe, at least today, doesn't seek to convince you it's random and absurd in addition to cruel and indifferent.
Patterson doesn't fit very well into the Brewers' outfield plans, in any event; Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, Nyjer Morgan, Carlos Gomez, and Norichika Aoki are all under contract, and Patterson isn't better than any of them.
Meanwhile, the fanbase of the Nashville Sounds can look forward to Patterson, who in 2009—his last extended AAA experience—hit .292/.333/.478 with 12 home runs and 21 stolen bases. That makes him a perfectly fine AAA outfielder, and a perfectly unsatisfactory Major League anything. Whatever your National League Central schadenfreude urges, and however remarkable it would be for Morgan, St. Louis's least-favorite outfielder, to lose playing time to St. Louis's second-least-favorite outfielder, it looks like that's exactly how the Brewers plan on using him.