Alternative Titles Of Robin Williams Movies To Use As A Nickname For Matt Adams


The Cardinals are set to begin Grapefruit League play this afternoon, taking on the hated Miami Marlins (they keep taking all the Lemon-Lime Gatorade at Roger Dean!) and we have our first outrage of the season. Below is the lineup card, as reported by Derrick Goold

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1. Skip Schumaker, RF

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2. Jon Jay, CF

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3. Matt Holliday, LF

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4. Carlos Beltran, DH

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5. Yadier Molina, C

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6. Matt "Patch" Adams, 1B

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7. Tyler Greene, 2B

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8. Daniel Descalso, 3B

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9. Alex Cora, SS

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The actual lineup is fine, even though we had forgotten about this whole Alex Cora nonsensical roster business. The issue is Matt "Patch" Adams. This nickname will not stand.

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Preferred nicknames include Matt "Smash" Adams and Matt "Radioactive" Adams, some are inclined to go with with Matt "Up And" Adams, but we digress. The point is, we will not be naming our fat home run hitting prospect after a non-cocaine using Robin Williams vehicle that taught us it was okay to laugh (and love?) again. Or something.

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If -- and this is a huge if -- we HAVE to name Matt Adams after a Robin Williams movie, the following nicknames have been deemed cromulent:

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  • Good Morning, VietMAtt Adams.
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  • Matt "Flubber" Adams
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  • Mrs. Doubtfire
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  • Matt "JUMANJI!" Adams
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  • The Big White
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