Carlos Beltran is like you and me. He's just a man who gets acupuncture to lower inflammation in his arm, after it's hit by a pitch, and then tweets about it on his incredibly pleasant Twitter account, to the adulation of a bunch of fans who hated him seven or eight years ago.

Some acupuncture to lower inflammation. twitter.com/carlosbeltran1…

— Carlos Beltran (@carlosbeltran15) April 16, 2012

He hasn't been around, really, long enough for all of us to know that much about what it's like to root for Carlos Beltran. But through nine games—having been very happy with it—I think I've come to the following conclusion: Carlos Beltran is the kind of person who'd be really, really good at hypnosis.

I don't think he'd even know he was doing It. He'd just chat with you for a while, make some small-talk, and then you'd be hypnotized. He wouldn't even do anything weird to you, at that point. He'd probably say, "Dan, when you wake up you'll be really successful, and get a professional degree, and be happy with who you really are."

Okay, Carlos. I'll do it. Thanks!