Legopiece Theater: Dugout Abbey: Matt Holliday Learns The Horrifying Truth

John Mozeliak: Always Watching (in a top hat)

Today in Legopiece Theater: Dugout Abbey, John Mozeliak's master plan unravels, much to Matt Holliday's surprise.

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Hi again, everybody! B.J. Rains here with Fox Sports Midwest!

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We are here today asking Cardinals players what their favorite memories are from last year's World Series Championship!

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What was your favorite part, Carp?

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Celebrating on the field after the final out.

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How about you, Yadi?

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The parade. I love parades.

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How bout you, David?

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Oh, what a whirlwind. Probably being on The Tonight Show.

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What is your favorite part, Matt?

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I'll never forget hitting the game-winning homer in Game 7 of the World Series.

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What?

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And being named the World Series MVP!

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Um, Matt...

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And the mayor giving me the key to the city!

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Matt... none of these things happened.

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What?

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You hurt your wrist in Game 6. You weren't even on the roster for Game 7.

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...

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Doc, why do I have these memories of things that didn't happen?

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Well...

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Doc, Matt is our franchise player now.

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We need to make sure he has the utmost confidence going forward.

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You got it, Mister Mo!

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You are getting sleepy...

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Wow... What else isn't real, Doc?

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Remember back in 2009... That fly ball you caught in the ninth inning of Game 2 of the NLDS?

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Sure I do!

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Well...

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That's not how it really happened...

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Oh.

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I had been wondering why the left one is bigger than the right one.

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