St. Louis Rams Real Talk for Week 4

Dilip Vishwanat - Getty Images

Shirtless Twitter profile pics. Johnny Cueto. A Zexy leg. And the rest of St. Louis Rams Real Talk: Week 4.

Hooooooo DOGGIES.

We had ourselves a good old fashioned slobber-knocker on Sunday, DID WE NOT?

I almost feel like we're rescue fans. The 2012 St. Louis Rams have adopted us and we're really appreciative of our new life. But give us a few more weeks to adjust to what's going on—if we bite at the hand feeding us or bark aggressively at a doorbell, understand that we're not used to this whole "get ahead in a game and actually win" thing.

Most NFL teams chunk up the season in fours. It's a good snapshot of where you are, where you've been and what you need to do. And 2-2 at the quarter pole is MORE than acceptable. In fact, it's downright amazing, considering the offensive line has starters on it who didn't break camp with the Rams.

Bravo, Rammies.

Bravo.

Special, Special Teams.

The Rams scored 19 points. Special Teams scored 19 points. Including a TD pass from punter Johnny Hekker to Danny Amendola and FGs from 58 AND 60 yards from kicker Greg Zuerlein.

So Zexy.

I'm putting it out there: The Rams have the best kicker in football. And to be really, really honest with you... I don't think it's even that close. Greg The Leg will break the record for the longest field goal in history this season. Remember when we joked that other teams had to game plan around Zuerlein? That shit is real now. If the Rams get over midfield they're almost sure to get 3 points.

That's going to lead to more agressive defenses when the Rams are on the 50 yard line and back. That 52-yard strike to Chris Givens because the 'Hawks were in press coverage with the Rams 75 yards from the endzone'? That's not a fluke.
If that leg isn't changing America, it's sure as hell changing the way teams prep for the Rams.

Then again, that offense stood up and barked.

Here are some actual quotes from FOX commentator Mike Martz on Sam Bradford during the game:

5:44 Q2: Sam holds the ball over 5 seconds and takes a sack, killing a drive: "That ball should have been gone."

9:42 Q4: Sam keeps letting Seattle blow his O-Line off the ball by not changing his cadence: "Sam Bradford has to change that cadence." (Right after this, he put two men in motion for an illegal shift penalty)

6:16 Q4: Sam misses a wide receiver wide open across the field and hits Steven Jackson as the valve: "He missed out on a TD there."

Zero offensive points? Zero offensive points.

The Rams were woeful on offense, sans a few nice plays (like the Givens catch.) And their woefulness continue to get overlooked, since the defense and special teams have been so stellar. Mike Martz is A) in the bag for offensive players and B) in the bag for St. Louis. So to have him continually calling out Bradford during the telecast was alarming.

2:56

From opening kick to the end of the game: Two hours and 56 seconds.

Maybe sponsors were running away from buying airtime on this one? Did the replacement refs really tack on 15 minutes a game? Whatever it was, this game went quick. Let's do this again. Every football game can be less than 3 hours with lots of time for commercials. I promise, it can.

More like Mike BROKE-RS.

Big Mike Brockers suited up and right on cue, sprained his ankle. The 2012 first round pick is having a very tough time staying on the field. After 4 games it's hard to draw any conclusions about what this means.

However, with the continued improved play of CB Janoris Jenkins, the Rams might just have gotten the biggest steal in this past draft. Dude is a Top 5 talent who the Rams got at No. 39 because of "off the field" issues. Brian Quick made the team this week, too, so cupcakes for everyone in that war room.

Twitter Reacts...

W4t1_medium

So many things here. Like: The nickname Moose wasn't enough for a handle; he just HAD to go with jersey 69. Furthermore, as a Rams fan and potential follower, I don't want to see you shirtless.

Plus the use of ellipsis here is tragic. Three dots...

Also, thanks.

W4t2_medium

Roger Goodell has a heart after all!

Does Fisher just have to shush him if Gregg starts to talk about football? Do they try to avoid contact on Mondays, since that's really all anyone wants to talk about?

W4t3_medium

HIYO!

W4t4_medium

Is Mr. Pead a psychic? Or intentionally using verbs that can be present and past tense?

W4t5_medium

Once again... HIYO!

Record: 2-2

Real Meter: (Where we project the Rams win total for the year): 7

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