"Look," said new St. Louis Rams GM Les Snead, announcing their signing of free-agent wide receiver Steve Smith at a surprisingly contentious press conference Monday, "we know which Steve Smith we signed just now. Absolutely, like, it's not even a question. We just wanted to know which Steve Smith you would think we signed, if we were going to sign a Steve Smith.
"Like, oh—" he went on, pointing at Post-Dispatch writer Jim Thomas, who appeared to be yawning. "I see what you're doing there, and that makes me think it's probably the Carolina Panthers one, right? That you think that we did that, I mean. You'd expect us to sign that one, because he's so great. So it's probably that one. I'm glad we cleared that up, really.
"Clearly it would be easy to sign the wrong Steve Smith by mistake, so we're not even talking about that. Just that we wouldn't do it. Panthers Steve Smith, he's the one with the—right? No? Son of a bitch."