St. Louis Rams football is back.
Feel. The. Excitement.
What? 35 point thrashings against teams that won two games the year before don't get you high? Reeeeellllaaax, it's only the pre-season people. Jeff Fisher is just hiding the big guns on offense for the REAL season.
Here's to the start of the 'Real Talk' weekly recap of the Rams game that was.
1. Of course Andrew Luck threw a touchdown with his first pass in the NFL. The Rams are givers like that. Now Luck's bio starts out "With his first NFL pass..." So instead of looking at this like a NegaNancy, let's applaud the Rams for taking a meaningless pre-season game and getting themselves into the history books. Besides, most of the Rams were probably uncomfortable in Lucas Oil Stadium anyway. 35,000 boners have a way of throwing you off your game.
2. Speaking of wood, have the Rams actually fired Gregg Williams, or was his 3,000 game suspension technically enough to get him off the Rams' tax rolls?
I have no idea if having a defensive coordinator makes a difference in an NFL game. I'd think that it would, but I could be wrong. I can tell you that not having one and letting up 38 points to a shit team isn't going to make my job writing about these games any harder.
Get rolled up by 38 to a 2-14 team, PFFFFT—Defensive Coordiantor, Defensive Schmoordiantor.
3. Jason Smith is in midseason form already. This guy is a machine!
A false start, sack surrendering machine. But, hey... consistency!
4. The (replacement) referee in the Colts/Rams game was a white guy named Don King. He talked like a bad SNL impression of Teddy Kennedy and looked like the short Bob from Office Space. I'm not choosing sides in the NFL vs Refs battle, but I am going to ask that we keep Mr. King involved after the dust settles on that kerfuffle.
Thanks in advance, NFL.
5. It's weird seeing Jeff Fisher on the sideline and not going to that hate portion of your brain right away. Maybe it's because I lived in Nashville at the height of Rams vs. Titans. But it's going to take me more than one game to get used to Little Elvis on the good guys.
Training camp has a way of wearing the best of ‘em down, but anyone else think Fisher looked a little ragged? Maybe the gravity of what he got himself into hit him around the fourth quarter Sunday.
Ouch. Faux John Madden is a little more edgy than the real Madden, but he's kind of got a point here. Especially if McNeese State nabs Tyrann Mathieu. Might be closer than we'd all would like.
Oh (however you type that name), oh no. You saw that? I'm so sorry. Please don't judge us on that. It might not get any better, but still... (Side: They're playing Rams games on Al Jazeera?)
Worse, the Cardinals took a gut-shot loss from the Phillies. And the US Team didn't medal in Rhythmic Gymnastics. All in, a pretty crap day for the Big 3 in STL.
Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, people want to add Chad Johnson in the mix?
We mentioned Jason Smith earlier, but just in case you missed it. Remember how awesome The Blind Side was? Well that movie was based on Michael Oher. He went 23rd in Jason Smith's draft. Three spots before Clay Matthews. Just putting that out there.
Preseason Record: 0-1
Real Meter (Where we project the Rams win total for the year): 3