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I'm Going To Be Honest Here

I read through this entire piece on the Rams' official website, about Steve Spagnuolo speaking to St. Louis businessmen, and got nothing but disappointment out of it when he failed to make even one cliched football analogy. No Scoring Touchdowns with better interpersonal communication; no giving inefficiency its Two Minute Warning; not even a Hard-Nose Defense in the face of bad press, which is something the sitting coach of the Rams has to know something about. If only this—

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Despite the difficulties that went with the 2009 season, Spagnuolo showed a knack for never getting too high or too low based on what happens on the field. It's what legendary offensive line coach Jim Hanifan calls the "Elevator Effect" and it's something that perked up many in the discussion.

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—had been called the Act Like Life Is Madden, And You Accidentally Turned "Keep Scores Close" On Effect.