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Molina vs. Molina: Your Move, Yadier

I have just been informed that Bengie Molina has hit for the cycle in a Major League Baseball game—one that counts, and not just in the All-Star Game sense. One in which a pitcher did not at any point say to his manager, "Screw it, I'm going to try to get Bengie Molina to hit a triple." 

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Yadier Molina has done some impressive things in his career; this year, for instance, he spent some time with as many of his own stolen bases as he had allowed as a catcher. But I don't see how he tops this, unless he just goes directly for the jugular:

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Bengie: Hey, Yadi, did you hear I—

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Yadier: At least I'm not the fat one! [runs, sobbing, to his room.]