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Your Complete Guide To Mike Matheny, As Written By Steve From Fenton


Mike Matheny lives in the Saint Louis area, not in California like some fruity space hippy. The sixties are over, deadbeats!

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Mike Matheny has a haircut you could set your watch to.

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Mike Matheny wouldn't hit his pitcher eighth, like a freaking moron. I assume.

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Mike Matheny doesn't have a DUI, unlike some drunk idiot. But if he did, we'd understand. It would just show that he is human and everyone makes mistakes.

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Mike Matheny would never piss off Ozzie Smith.

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Mike Matheny eats meat. He actually shoots some of the meat he eats himself. I've never trusted vegetarians. Hitler was a vegetarian. True story. My brother-in-law heard it on the radio.

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In conclusion, Mike Matheny reminds me of a young Whitey Herzog. I approve of this hire.

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