“I finally did it!” says Ryne Sandberg, holding the gleaming trophy. “And I did it for—all of you!”
↵And Busch Stadium roars, and roars, and roars.
↵Then Albert Pujols takes the microphone, and your Cubs Fan Friend will wake up in a cold sweat, and try to treat him nicely at the office tomorrow, because he didn't get a full night's sleep.