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The Nightmare Your Cubs Fan Friends Will Wake From Tomorrow Morning

“I finally did it!” says Ryne Sandberg, holding the gleaming trophy. “And I did it for—all of you!”


And Busch Stadium roars, and roars, and roars.


Then Albert Pujols takes the microphone, and your Cubs Fan Friend will wake up in a cold sweat, and try to treat him nicely at the office tomorrow, because he didn't get a full night's sleep.