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Super Bowl Kickoff Time: The Pregame Extravaganza

Those of us awaiting Super Bowl Kickoff Time have now seen a red-carpet show; lots of Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers highlights; several hundred Glee promos; and a Maroon Five performance. The game begins, ostensibly, at 5:30 PM, but the kickoff could come after any number of other mid-aughts mom-rock-stars perform. I’m looking forward to seeing Hoobastank perform at the 50-yard-line during the coin toss, and the Third Quarter Show should rock when Santana and Rob Thomas perform “Smooth.” Frank Caliendo will deliver the Super Bowl rings dressed up as Robert De Niro, for some reason.

So: Hope for 5:30 PM CST, but keep enough canned goods and and mild salsa around to get through a possible football drought while the pregame rolls into its 20th hour. Plan on a Lord of the Flies scenario if it stretches more than a half an hour after the presumptive kick-off time; consider using a conch shell to determine who’s allowed to talk. Don’t think too badly of FOX, though—think about all the money they’re raising for Jerry’s Kids by going this long.