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March Madness Predictions: Kansas On NBA Jam Edition

March Madness predictions are, at times, a weirdly totemic, arcane business. People make predictions based on the feel and design of the NCAA Bracket they printed out; they pick teams based on animal names or the way one number (strong, solid 12!) feels against another; they choose based on a mass of subconscious tics they only half-understand. But as far as arcane prediction methods go, I don't think you can improve on this March Madness prediction—via NBA Jam. The Kansas Jayhawks are the Charlotte Hornets, which would be bad news only if you had hot-spots on, or if you didn't want KU to move to New Orleans.

More facts to be gleaned from this set of power rankings: Kemba Walker, like Reggie Miller, has a super-high clutch rating; Kentucky, like the Phoenix Suns, can shoot the three-pointer no matter who racked up the most injury-points in the third quarter; and nobody, I mean nobody, played as the Cleveland Cavaliers in NBA Jam: TE except for me. If you want to extrapolate even more from these, an NCAA bracket prediction begins to develop—if you have Syracuse going deep, watch out when teams begin to elbow Terry Porter early and often. He loses his shooting touch once he's in the red.