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2011 Kentucky Derby: A Dialogue Between Archarcharch And The Gateway Arch

One of the advantages SB Nation St. Louis has going for its coverage of the 2011 Kentucky Derby is its ability to coax speech out of beings or objects that are not, by all appearances, sapient. In the tradition of previous interviews with The Supermoon and Ophiuchus the Zodiac Sign, we sat Kentucky Derby competitor Archarcharch, recently consigned to the rail, down with the St. Louis Gateway Arch, which is an actual arch. 

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I've got the microcassette here, if I can just turn Dragon Dictate on—there. 

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Arch: You got stuck on the rail on Wednesday—the No. 1 post position. What does that do for your chances in Saturday's race? 

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Archarcharch: Well, it's a crowded field. And I got kicked last time. But your boys at Down the Stretch etc. etc. think I'll do okay.

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Arch: I'm glad to hear it. Do you ever get mad when people are like, "I hate how all people ever ask about when they say we've been in," uh, wherever you're from, "is 'Yeah, the place with the Arch, right?'", like it's not some big favor you're doing sitting in front of some provincial cow town all day?

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Archarcharch: ...

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Archarcharch: One thing people might not know about—these aren't our actual names. Do you think we're actually going to say, "Hey, Decisive Moment, Midnight Interlude, what's happening?" 

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Arch: So—

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Archarcharch: Mostly we just say, "Hey, horse!" or, "Hey, brown horse!" But when it comes down to it we're like any other athlete. Decisive Moment's Decisy, Midnight Interlude is Midnighty, et cetera. I'm Archarcharchie, which has a ring to it.