clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Derek Holland: A Fair Warning To Rick Ankiel Fans

New, 1 comment

Okay—I've called this emergency meeting of the Rick Ankiel Fanclub And Exalted Order for the direst of reasons: A World Series collapse has happened so awful as to occasion comparisons to our favorite left-handed pitcher and our fourth or fifth favorite outfielder. I'm speaking, of course, of young Texas Rangers southpaw Derek Holland. Holland is no Ankiel, of course—of course!—but he throws pretty hard and features a breaking pitch, and last night he walked three batters on 13 pitches. It was a postseason meltdown for the ages. At least, that's what people think.

↵

Tomorrow morning, when people see the outline of your Ankiel 66 shersey under your work clothes, people are going to start asking questions. Say, they'll ask, did you see the World Series last night? Derek Holland really pulled an Ankiel there, didn't he? And you'll look this San Francisco Giants bandwagon-jumper in the eye, and you'll say, you think you know postseason meltdowns? You think you know postseason meltdowns? You don't know. You don't know at all.

↵

In 2000, you'll say, Rick Ankiel, the best left-handed pitching prospect in a decade, walked 11 batters in four innings. He threw nine wild pitches. "You think you know pitching meltdowns?" you'll say. And he'll say—look, man—

↵

And you'll say, "You ever lay face down behind the screen hoping the next 95 mile an hour fastball wasn't aimed right at you and your buddies? No? Derek Holland doesn't throw 95? You ever wake up one day to find your prospect list a wreck, and for nothing, nothing at all? You ever see Todd Wellemeyer start 30 games and wonder what might've been? No, you don't know nothing. Pitching meltdowns are hell." 

↵

This ends our emergency meeting of the Rick Ankiel Fanclub And Exalted Order. You can find your own way out. No, over—over there—no, by the door—no, closer, but—oh, this is horrible to watch. 

↵