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Why Other Teams Might Desire Colby Rasmus, Why This Isn't News

I've just received word from some unnamed sources that other teams—including teams with bad center fielders—are interested in trading for St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Colby Rasmus

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These teams are interested, this late-breaking news goes on to say, because Rasmus, a plus defensive center fielder who declined to be named for this story, hit .276/.361/.498 last season. At 23 he's shown all the tools that made the Cardinals draft him in the first round in 2005, and he's set to make close to the league minimum next season, which makes him a great fit for any team that has really expensive players at first base and left field.

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Unnamed level-headed Cardinal beat writers say that GM John Mozeliak has no interest in trading Colby Rasmus.

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I would like very much to be published in The New Yorker someday, maybe even during this offseason. But until they're interested in publishing me, it's not news. At least, that's what unnamed lawyers keep telling me.