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St. Louis Sports: A Series Of Christmas Wish Lists

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A look at what the big names in St. Louis sports want for Christmas, besides to be Sam Bradford.

[Editor's note: SBN St. Louis sent their sources deep into the North Pole to find wish lists to Santa Claus from various Saint Louis athletes, coaches, and sports personalities. We came back disappointed, since Santa isn't real and it's freaking cold up there. So we made some stuff up. All lists start "Dear Santa" except for Sam Bradford's, whose list begins "Dear someone not as dreamy as I."] 

Tony La Russa

REO Speedwagon cutlery

Transitions-specific lens cleaner

Scrappier players

A greater sense of self importance

Dan Ceasar

A liter of blood from Joe Buck. From when he was eight years old. To drink. To save me.

Albert Pujols

300 Million dollars

Footie pajamas

Sign Guy

A way to be less clever, as I'm not sure everyone "gets" my humor.

Burn down that god-damn Pizza Hut

Rick Majerus

A Ritz cracker the size of a hubcap.

Sam Bradford

Wide Receivers

Oil of Olay gift basket

Gary Pinkel

Pinkel_medium

Colby Rasmus

Play everyday

Be left alone

1985 Camaro IROC-Z

John Mozeliak

Kiton sportcoats

Lance Berkman

Love letter from Tony

Chris Carpenter

The Babysitter's Club (complete collection)

D'Marco Farr

More radio commercials for diet and fitness plans so somebody, somewhere might think I'm in shape

Hamburgers

Lance Berkman

The ability to go back in time and not give my phone number to Jeff Gordon. I thought he was the race car driver! Now every day it's another text about "how will I remeber blahblahblah era." What a weirdo.

Mike Shannon

An ice cold Busch and a pound of peel-and-eat shrimp from Fat Eddie's Bon-Air!

More nicknames that are actually just people's names with "-man" added onto the end.

Steve Spagnuolo

Those shoe lifts Matt Sebek was telling me about. I deserve to be 5' 9", damn it!