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Zack Greinke Wants Trade, Cardinals Blogger Just Sayin'

I've already made it very clear on this website that I love Zack Greinke, and given the way the St. Louis Cardinals just finished treating Brendan Ryan, another fascinating space-case—though of the more plausibly aggravating hyperactive variety—I'm not sure it would be a great idea. But if Zack Greinke is asking the Kansas City Royals to trade him... well, I want to see that happen. 

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On a baseball level—Greinke is two years younger than Adam Wainwright, and has been excellent, historically excellent, and a little better than average over the last three years, despite playing for the Royals, which is a little like winning 16 games in Azkaban (this is Harry Potter reference number one of two in this article. Watch for the second one!) He's owed $27 million over the next two years, which is pretty neat.

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But really, with the Cardinals trending toward maximum grit-induced boredom this offseason I can't overestimate how interesting it would be watching Greinke play a full season with a team that has a chance. He's hypercompetitive but weirdly cliche-averse; he sounds like Luna Lovegood in interviews; he loves hitting and Brad Pitt and sunsets. Here's another list of weird stuff he's done; I can't make the case for Greinke any stronger than this quote: "I'd say the average person wouldn't eat a Chipotle burrito and still do his running, full speed, like me. That's why they call me special."