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Zack Greinke, Who Is Awesome, On Trading Block

I know it's for the good of the team, but it's frustrating to watch all the cool stuff happen at the Winter Meetings while the St. Louis Cardinals wait patiently to get a chance to talk to Albert Pujols's agent's agent. It's like taking swimming lessons across the street from a water-park. The latest news out of Orlando: The Kansas City Royals are ready to trade Zack Greinke to anybody, provided that team is willing to shell out as many players as you'd expect for a 27-year-old ace under contract for two more years.

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Greinke isn't any 27-year-old ace under contract for two more years, though: He's also fascinating. He was fascinating as a 20-year-old who threw eephus pitches and boasted blandly about being able to throw his fastball at any speed he wanted; he was fascinating as a guy talented and strange enough to honestly consider retiring from baseball for a career in golf; and he's fascinating now as a reluctant ace whose quotes have inspired their own facebook group. ("There definitely will be flying cars, but whether there'll be flying cars for most people to use, it'll probably take a long time to straighten everything out, all the rules and hassles. It'll take a while to figure out how to keep people from crashing into each other.")

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For the sake of extracting more quotes from the flat-affectest player in baseball, I can only hope he's traded somewhere where he gets a chance to win the occasional game.