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2011 World Series Game 5: What To Do When The St. Louis Cardinals Come Home

Game 5 of the 2011 World Series nears, and with it the last of a three-game set at the Ballpark in Arlington that will end, as these things usually do, with one team on the brink of elimination. Since we don't know yet what the next several hours will hold, I thought I might offer the most reasonable scenarios for your Wednesday afternoon whether the St. Louis Cardinals win or lose. If you're around Busch Stadium that day, then, consider these two possibilities: 

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Cardinals Win: Everybody will be wearing a Chris Carpenter shersey! The Arch will be used as a powerful antenna so as to broadcast replays of Mike Shannon's most recent "Get up baby! Get up!" call so far and wide that the Cardinals become the official baseball team of the Pyongyang resistance! Fans will look back fondly on how they assumed Skip Schumaker was kind of fast and good at defense when he was just an outfielder!

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Cardinals Lose: Everybody will be panicking! The Arch will be torn down like an ersatz goalpost! Fans will go from Founding Fathers to Old Testament and declare Jon Jay Judge of a roving band of looters and marauders! Tony La Russa will be said to have done some very frustrating things! 

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The good news, though, is that in a post-apocalyptic wasteland tickets are likely to be at least a little bit cheaper. 

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