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Michael Young Groupon Not Available To St. Louis Cardinals

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I happened to like those Groupon Super Bowl commercials, tone-deaf as they were—I thought they were a satire on celebrity cause-mongering—but their new third baseman deal isn't quite as deep a discount as I'm accustomed to; the St. Louis Cardinals would be wise to avoid it, or maybe wait for something similar to show up on woot. 

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$18 million off isn't a bad deal for a Gold Glove second and third baseman, but Michael Young hasn't ever really been one. It's not a bad deal for an impact hitter, but he's no Dan Uggla. To be honest, Michael Young needs the Texas Rangers more than the Rangers need him. With the Rangers he's a guy who'll get more than 2000 hits with one franchise and get a few Hall of Fame votes when he retires, having spent his entire career with one team. With the Cardinals, he'd be... Mark DeRosa

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He's been jerked around in Texas, and to be honest I think he has a reason to be angry; he's moved around like few would-be stars would allow and the Rangers have taken advantage of that to slowly squeeze him out of the everyday lineup. I wouldn't have been able to resist that Mike Napoli trade either, but he should be playing catcher instead of sitting behind one-year-wonder Yorvit Torrealba

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In the meantime, Woot has an Internet-connected alarm clock available for 70 bucks. The Dash is yet another fragmented Sony product that's destined to have a short shelf-life, but it's on sale!