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Albert Pujols Contract: Decatur Sworn To Silence

Albert Pujols' contract negotiations with the St. Louis Cardinals are as secretive as the average comic-book blockbuster's viral marketing campaign, but according to the Post-Dispatch he spilled some secrets in Decatur, Ill., the Soybean and Soybean Smell Capital of the World. It's time for rumors about rumors—what exactly did he say to Bob and Cindy Brady, who won an auction for dinner with the Pujolses at their charity golf outing.

While their daughters received council from hitting and life coach Dee Dee Pujols, who prepared "home run chicken," among other things, some much braver than I would have been got up the gumption to tell him, "We sure hope you'll stay in St. Louis."

The story touches on his response like so: "The comment unlocked something, and Pujols proceeded to tell the men 'off the record' thoughts about the process of his negotiation."

Growing up in Springfield I've seen more than my fair share of commercials for the Bob Brady Auto Mall, but I don't think that's a close-enough relationship for me to unlock something and get at those off the record thoughts. Consider making an offer on one of his Chrysler 300Cs or Hyundai Genesises, and then just move the conversation in that direction while you're signing the check. I'd offer to do it, but I don't have the kind of scratch that would allow me to win an auction for dinner with the Bradys, let alone the Pujolses.