[Editor's note: Kyle McClellan's transition to the starting rotation is fraught with peril, even on a team like the St. Louis Cardinals that loves to move players around for reasons that aren't always immediately apparent. Alex Fritz, SB Nation St. Louis's 1990s Cardinals baseball expert, has collected some information that should be of use to the converted reliever.]
↵Joe Magrane, How To Wear A Hat:
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"In my day we wore our hats like men. Really high on our heads. And we were KINGS OF THE DIAMONDS!"
Bryn Smith, In Case Of Mistaken Identity:
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↵↵In case you are mistaken for a shiftless hobo and nobody will give you a uniform, it is acceptable to make your own out of an old poncho.
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Greg Mathews, How To Keep Your Cool:
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↵↵When not pitching, remember to stare off into the distance looking wistful as often as possible. Perhaps there is a ship upon the horizon; how many lost loves does she carry aboard?
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Ken Dayley, How To Bag Chicks:
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↵↵Check it, meat. Two gloves. Chicks are gonna effing dig this.
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