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Choose Your Own Adventure #1: St. Louis Cardinals Vs. Cincinnati Reds

Like Mike Leake in a Macy's, adulthood has stolen many of my fondest memories. However, it has not taken my memory of the days when I once ruled the world and was allowed to CHOOSE MY OWN ADVENTURE(!). Anyway, this is awkward... So, here we are.

[Back of cover blurb: The crack of the bat! The pop of the glove! It's baseball season! in Choose Your Own Adventure #1: Cardinals Vs. Reds, and you're choosing your own adventure in Busch Stadium, where Brandon Phillips and the St. Louis Cardinals are still pissed off at each other! You're Chris, a boy who realizes suddenly that he's in control of what happens in the Cardinals and Reds' newly violent rivalry!! Pitch to win, but watch out for weaponized strains of pink-eye, taunting Twitter feeds, and pitchers with acoustic guitars!!!]

It is the top of the first inning at Busch Stadium, on Saturday April 23rd. Cincinnati Red Drew Stubbs has grounded to Cardinals second baseman Nick Punto for the first out.

Chris Carpenter faces Brandon Phillips. Would you like Chris Carpenter to:

1) Hit Brandon Phillips with the first pitch? Turn to Page 48
2) Hit Brandon Phillips with the second pitch? Turn to Page 72
3) Strike Brandon Phillips out. Turn to Page 19

Good luck, thank you for playing, and please remember the life lesson that I hope this Choose Your Own Adventure taught you: That 30-year-olds will not get over their childhoods until Mr Men is made into a full length, live action film and all of our memories are proved to be for naught.

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