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Rod Blagojevich Conviction Means Springfield Can Finally Learn To Love Again

I've mentioned a few times that I come from the very edge of St. Louis Cardinals territory—the spot in Springfield, Illinois, where Cardinals and Cubs fans are often siblings, at least by marriage, and have to commute the hour-and-a-half to Busch Stadium in the same car. As a Springfieldian it's clear to me that there's only one thing that can unite all the warring factions in our fair capital—Cardinals and Cubs fans, Rams and Bears fans, Democrats and Republicans, horseshoe fans versus people without souls—and it just happened: Rod Blagojevich was convicted on 17 charges.

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The day Blagojevich—who was unpopular in Springfield for his failure to inhabit the governor's mansion, among other things, even before his corruption was uncovered—was arrested everything seemed to stop in Springfield for the morning. Impromptu parties broke out in the streets downtown. Now that he's been convicted I can only imagine things will get stranger: Cardinals and Cubs fans will unite to sing songs of peace; weirdly homophobic Albert Pujols novelty t-shirts will be burned on enormous makeshift bonfires. The Springfield Hilton will grow three sizes this day.

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Personally, I'm glad I'll be out of town. It is a silly place.