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The 2011 St. Louis Cardinals: A Complete Transaction Breakdown

This week at SB Nation Saint Louis, we break down the behind the scene moves of the Cardinals front office deeper than anyone else ever has.

By Alex Fritz
ST. LOUIS, MO - JUNE 2: The Saint Louis Cardinals trade the advertising rights of OF Jon Jay to Gulf Oil. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
ST. LOUIS, MO - JUNE 2: The Saint Louis Cardinals trade the advertising rights of OF Jon Jay to Gulf Oil. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
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MARCH
DATE TRANSACTION
March 31, 2011

Selected the contract of RHP Miguel Batista from Memphis (PCL). Placed RHP Adam Wainwright on the 60-day DL and INF Nick Punto on the 15-day DL, retroactive to March 22.
APRIL
DATE

TRANSACTION
April 5, 2011
 Signed RH/LHP George Wheeler after manager Tony La Russa insisted on having an ambidextrous pitcher.
April 6, 2011
 Released RH/LHP George Wheeler, who has been dead for 65 years.
April 13, 2011 Placed RHP Brian Tallet and RHP Bryan Augenstein on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Fernando Salas and RHP Eduardo Sanchez from Memphis (PCL).
April 17, 2011
 Purchased the contract of Mayor McCheese, assigned to Memphis (PCL).
April 18, 2011
 Released the rap album John Mozeliak: Trader, Playa
April 19, 2011 Placed 2B Skip Schumaker and OF Allen Craig on the 15-day DL, Schumaker retroactive to April 16 and Craig to April 17. Activated INF Nick Punto from the 15-day DL. Recalled 1B Mark Hamilton from Memphis (PCL).
April 22, 2011
 Traded LHP Trevor Miller to Los Angeles Dodgers for UIF Aaron Miles. John Mozeliak severs the phone line in manager Tony La Russa's office, forbids La Russa from imitating him. Traded UIF Aaron Miles to Los Angeles Dodgers for LHP Trevor Miller. Traded four dollars for a new box of tissues in La Russa's office.
MAY
DATE TRANSACTION
May 1, 2011
 Signed Ted DiBiase. No reason, really.
May 2, 2011 Placed 3B David Freese on the 15-day DL. Activated INF-OF Allen Craig from the 15-day DL.
May 9, 2011
 Activated Go-Go-Gadget-Arms.
May 17, 2011 Claimed RHP Jess Todd off waivers from the N.Y. Yankees. Transferred RHP Bryan Augenstein from 15-day to 60-day DL.
May 18, 2011 Placed INF Nick Punto on the 15-day DL. Recalled INF Pete Kozma from Memphis (PCL).
May 19, 2011
 Placed into therapy for having to recall Pete Effing Kozma to the major league roster.
May 21, 2011
 Claimed to have invented frozen yogurt.
May 23, 2011

Placed C Gerald Laird on the 15-day DL. Activated 2B Skip Schumaker from the 15-day DL. Recalled C Tony Cruz from Memphis (PCL). Optioned RHP Mitchell Boggs to Memphis. Announced Rule 5 draft RHP Brian Broderick was returned by Washington and assigned to Memphis.
May 25, 2011
 Traded 1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr for 1986 Donruss Jose Canseco, 1988 Score Gregg Jeffries, and 1993 Stadium Club Todd Van Poppel.
May 28, 2011
 Placed SS Ryan Theriot into "timeout" for ten minutes following Icy Hot being found in Brian Tallet's jock strap.
JUN
DATE TRANSACTION
June 1, 2011 Placed RHP Kyle McClellan on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Lance Lynn from Memphis (PCL).
June 2, 2011
 Placed OF Matt Holliday on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Maikel Cleto from Springfield (TEX). Set self on fire.
June 3, 2011
 Recalled graphic childhood nightmare involving Judith Light, Dick Van Dyke, and a Capri Sun pouch.