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MARCH | |
DATE | TRANSACTION |
March 31, 2011 |
Selected the contract of RHP Miguel Batista from Memphis (PCL). Placed RHP Adam Wainwright on the 60-day DL and INF Nick Punto on the 15-day DL, retroactive to March 22. |
APRIL | |
DATE |
TRANSACTION |
April 5, 2011 |
Signed RH/LHP George Wheeler after manager Tony La Russa insisted on having an ambidextrous pitcher. |
April 6, 2011 |
Released RH/LHP George Wheeler, who has been dead for 65 years. |
April 13, 2011 | Placed RHP Brian Tallet and RHP Bryan Augenstein on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Fernando Salas and RHP Eduardo Sanchez from Memphis (PCL). |
April 17, 2011 |
Purchased the contract of Mayor McCheese, assigned to Memphis (PCL). |
April 18, 2011 |
Released the rap album John Mozeliak: Trader, Playa |
April 19, 2011 | Placed 2B Skip Schumaker and OF Allen Craig on the 15-day DL, Schumaker retroactive to April 16 and Craig to April 17. Activated INF Nick Punto from the 15-day DL. Recalled 1B Mark Hamilton from Memphis (PCL). |
April 22, 2011 |
Traded LHP Trevor Miller to Los Angeles Dodgers for UIF Aaron Miles. John Mozeliak severs the phone line in manager Tony La Russa's office, forbids La Russa from imitating him. Traded UIF Aaron Miles to Los Angeles Dodgers for LHP Trevor Miller. Traded four dollars for a new box of tissues in La Russa's office. |
MAY | |
DATE | TRANSACTION |
May 1, 2011 |
Signed Ted DiBiase. No reason, really. |
May 2, 2011 | Placed 3B David Freese on the 15-day DL. Activated INF-OF Allen Craig from the 15-day DL. |
May 9, 2011 |
Activated Go-Go-Gadget-Arms. |
May 17, 2011 | Claimed RHP Jess Todd off waivers from the N.Y. Yankees. Transferred RHP Bryan Augenstein from 15-day to 60-day DL. |
May 18, 2011 | Placed INF Nick Punto on the 15-day DL. Recalled INF Pete Kozma from Memphis (PCL). |
May 19, 2011 |
Placed into therapy for having to recall Pete Effing Kozma to the major league roster. |
May 21, 2011 |
Claimed to have invented frozen yogurt. |
May 23, 2011 |
Placed C Gerald Laird on the 15-day DL. Activated 2B Skip Schumaker from the 15-day DL. Recalled C Tony Cruz from Memphis (PCL). Optioned RHP Mitchell Boggs to Memphis. Announced Rule 5 draft RHP Brian Broderick was returned by Washington and assigned to Memphis. |
May 25, 2011 |
Traded 1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr for 1986 Donruss Jose Canseco, 1988 Score Gregg Jeffries, and 1993 Stadium Club Todd Van Poppel. |
May 28, 2011 |
Placed SS Ryan Theriot into "timeout" for ten minutes following Icy Hot being found in Brian Tallet's jock strap. |
JUN | |
DATE | TRANSACTION |
June 1, 2011 | Placed RHP Kyle McClellan on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Lance Lynn from Memphis (PCL). |
June 2, 2011 |
Placed OF Matt Holliday on the 15-day DL. Recalled RHP Maikel Cleto from Springfield (TEX). Set self on fire. |
June 3, 2011 |
Recalled graphic childhood nightmare involving Judith Light, Dick Van Dyke, and a Capri Sun pouch. |