Some in St. Louis Cardinals-land skipped immediately to "Acceptance" (if not downright exuberance) when they heard the news that Colby Rasmus and the myriad bad relievers were headed north to the Toronto Blue Jays in exchange for two-to-three months of Edwin Jackson and Octavio Dotel, a now-LOOGy-but-possible-starter named Marc Rzepczynski, and what in all likelihood will end up being a moderate-sized pile of cash.
Others, mostly on Viva El Birdos, went through all five stages of grief in one horrible afternoon. Here are but a few of St. Louis's cast of characters, expressing themselves in the various stages.
Denial
"I'm not turning around, because nothing is happening."
Anger
"THEY WHAT?!?!?!"
Bargaining
"Yes, Mr Anthopoulos, I will literally do that to your body if you give me him back. I've made a huge mistake."
Depression
"Corey Patterson?"
Acceptance
"Rasmus was traded? Good for him!"
"They traded Rasmus? Good for him."
"Colby got traded!?!?! Good for him!!!!!!"
"Who? MAN [BEEP] TONY LA RUSSA."
"I was traded? Good for hi--- Good for dangole me!"
"Colby was traded? Damn right."