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Two Of Missouri's Favorite Pastimes: Cardinals Baseball & Meth

SB Nation Saint Louis takes a look at which former and present Cardinals are likely to show up on an episode of Breaking Bad.

By Alex Fritz
Getty Images

Meth is no laughing matter here in the state of Missouri. Because we don't laugh about business and meth is a big business here. In fact, meth is the third leading export from the state of Missouri, right behind standing ovations and repossessed boats.

The meth epidemic has hit all walks of life in this state, baseball players being no exception. Here are a handful of players SB Nation has absolutely no proof of ever having done anything and are not alleging anything at all, but, yeah, these guys were probably doing meth.

Mike MacDougal

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Mike MacDougal's biggest issue while with the Cardinals in 2010 was a 5.79 BB/9. His second biggest issue was not eating for two months.

Jeff Weaver

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What can help a pitcher go from a career 5.9 K/9 & 3.8 BB/9 to put up thirteen innings of 9.7 K/9 and 1.4 BB/9 in a World Series? Only some of Missouri's sweet, sweet meth.

Yadier Molina

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Last year, Molina would have been a very unlikely meth user. Then he showed up to spring training with neck tattoos. The thought process that leads someone into thinking, "Maybe I should try meth? That sounds like fun!" is the same process that makes someone think, "Maybe I should get some neck tats? That'd look great!"

Scott Spiezio

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I don't believe there was a drug on earth that Spiezio was NOT taking during his stay in Saint Louis. Ergo, he's in.

Julian Tavarez

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The O.G. of the Cardinals meth club. You do not want to know what Tavarez was propositioning when this photo was taken.

Bounus cards!

Corey Hart

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No, the picture isn't fuzzy. Hart is just shaking uncontrollably.

The Weaver Brothers!

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While I loved the Topps novelty cards of the 1980's, that was a rather poorly given nickname for Jeff and Jered Weaver.

[Lawyer's note: SB Nation has no proof that anyone but Alex Fritz was actively using meth at the time of this article's publication. However, it has never been inclined to disbelieve things it reads on baseball cards. Did you know Richie Hebner was a gravedigger in the offseason? Seriously!]