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St. Louis Cardinals Tryout Notes: Aaron Rowand And Miguel Tejada

Thanks, Mr. Tallet. We really enjoyed your work, and we'll call you if we have a role for you. Yes, you can—right through that door, thanks.

"I like to think of the lefty specialist role as a physical space I inhabit, rather than a—"

We'll be in touch, thanks. Tony, who's next on the—

John!

Tony, it's a PA system, you don't have to shout through it. It's loud already, I mean.

John! What did you think of that guy?

Brian Tallet?

Yeah! He reminded me of someone—maybe a young Lance Painter is who I'm thinking of.

Okay, next on my list is—Aaron Rowand? Is Mr. Rowand backstage?

Holy—

Mr. Rowand! Thanks for coming out this afternoon.

Get this guy John! Aaron, we love you!

"Thanks, disembodied voice, sir. And thanks, Mr. Mozeliak, for having me."

It says here you were most recently with a San Francisco company, where you hit .231/.277/.363 between 2010 and 2011. 

With the diving all the time, John! Remember! And the bleeding everywhere!

"Yes, sir. I know it's not great, but if you look past the numbers you'll see that I also used to be an excellent defensive player."

Okay. I'll—

John! Tell Aaron—Aaron, you're a shoo-in for the part!

I'm sorry, but that's not your—

"Thanks, disembodied voice!"

Okay, look, Tony, just—okay, somebody send Miguel in.

Tejada!? The AL MVP?

You know, just sign him. Whatever. I'm not going to be the one to break it to Tyler Greene again.