I can't be sure of this, because nobody has yet made a blogger series, but I have to imagine one of the real joys of baseball is opening a pack of Topps and pulling out your own baseball card. Skip Schumaker—in this year's St. Louis Cardinals set, at least—will be settling for the chance at opening a pack of Topps and seeing his name on a baseball card. His name and the Rally Squirrel:
↵↵Per Big League Stew, Schumaker will have a more conventional version of the card, too, but anybody with a lapsed subscription to Beckett will tell you that the real money's always going to be in the Rally Squirrel version.
↵Poor Skip Schumaker—first they move him to second base, then he gets benched and sent back to the outfield after learning his new position, and now he's been upstaged by a non-sapient creature that is most famous for streaking and, in the Twitter Novelty Battle of 2011, proved to be not quite as fascinating as Torty Craig.