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MLB Rumors 2012: Roy Oswalt Will Never Sign With Anybody

The MLB rumor mill can't take all this angst—it was just about to shut down for the season after the Price Fielder signing when it seemed like the St. Louis Cardinals were about to sign Roy Oswalt, and then just as people were writing their Cardinals sign last 2004 Houston Astro posts it got confusing again. Now we don't know where Roy Oswalt is, and MLB Trade Rumors has been posting at half-mast ever since.

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Allow me, then, to offer this plausible scenario: Roy Oswalt never signs with anybody, and the season is forgotten about as we wait for him to decide between the Cardinals and the Texas Rangers. Instead of Spring Training, we'll all get together in groups of varying sizes and configurations and have conversations that are variations on, "Hey, isn't it kind of weird how cheap Roy Oswalt is this year? Like, who was expecting him to be available on a one-year deal? That's crazy!"

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By July we'll realize something is wrong.

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