All the angst I felt when the Cardinals traded Brendan Ryan for no apparent reason and switched him out for the markedly inferior Ryan Theriot has been building to this moment, where it's finally made right: Ryan has fulfilled his destiny by appearing in a Seattle Mariners commercial with Ichiro. Watch this, and let the tears fall where they may:
↵↵Suddenly I'm able to process the loss I've felt all this time: Brendan Ryan has gone to a better place. A place where he can act as straight man to Ichiro; where he can prove himself to be a perfectly capable defense-first shortstop on a team that's too mediocre to throw players overboard for not being Tony La Russa enough.
↵I feel sad and happy in this moment. They say you that if you love a baseball player, you have to set him free. Thanks to Ichiro, and the Mariners' 10-year history of making funny commercials, I'm finally able to do that.