As previously noted, Cardinals players have hit 29,999 doubles in franchise history. Who will have the honor of hitting the Cardinals 30,000th double? We don't know. So we'll guess.
↵The Cardinals will most likely face lefty Josh Johnson on their ridiculous Opening Day one game series against the Marlins. Due to having a 1980's level amount of switch hitters this year, Jon Jay will probably be the only left handed batter to start the game for Saint Louis. Everyone in the Cardinals lineup has a 2B/PA rate between four and seven percent, so this really is a toss up.
↵We'll go ahead and just guess it is hit in the top of the first inning by Matt Holliday, who, thinking he finally has his "moment" attempts to raise the second base bag over his head (ala Rickey Henderson) but trips, breaks both legs and is lost for the season.
↵He is then mauled by a bear.
↵The bum.