John Axford is the Milwaukee Brewers' closer. He had 46 saves last year, he has a cool mustache, he was briefly out of baseball entirely, and now he's your favorite member of the Hated Brewers, for sending this note to the media after leaving Miller Park early following the end of his 49-save streak, due to his pregnant wife going into labor.
↵↵↵"I put my wife into contractions with my performance tonight... The streak is over so now you can talk about it. The luck I've had in the past didn't show up tonight! All I can do is begin another streak and keep my head up! Cliché…cliché…another cliché. Gotta go! L♥ve, Ax."
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Yeah, the heart's in the original, and it's great. I liked Axford already, but this kind of self-awareness and gentle ribbing of beat reporters is right in my wheelhouse, even if my favorite Milwaukee Brewers player, due to my unapologetic love of Japanese baseball, will have to remain Norichika Aoki until they trade him to some team who could actually use him.
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