I am that guy: I drafted a quarterback in the first round of fantasy football this year. I am also this guy: His name is Drew Brees. So now, with the end of the fantasy football season at hand, I have to watch as my number-one fantasy football draft pick takes on the best St. Louis Rams team in years, with legitimate playoff implications in both the fantasy and iRL worlds.
↵I am not completely sure about the proper football-fan etiquette here, but I'd like to propose some, which we can then talk over: Fantasy football employees who play against Your Team can't be rooted for at the expense of Your Team—that much is clear. I can't cheer for Drew Brees to annihilate the Rams' secondary all afternoon. It's important we start there.
↵Things get more difficult if the Rams are clearly being dominated by the Saints. If Brees tosses a touchdown pass, instead of handing it to Chris Ivory, a brief and fleeting sense of satisfaction is inevitable and mustn't be fought, less it sprout later on into full-blown contentment. If, in garbage time, Brees runs the ball in for a meaningless touchdown instead of offering it to somebody else for a meaningless touchdown, don't do anything—don't make eye contact with your fellow Rams fans, don't try to look especially pissed off, don't mention you own him. I can't tell you, finally, what to feel in your heart of fantasy football hearts, but I can suggest that you make sure nobody knows what it is. Nobody wants to hear about your fantasy football team in the best of times, let alone the worst.
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