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Governor Jay Nixon Might Own Danario Alexander In Fantasy Football

At the Post-Dispatch Jim Thomas talks about the connection between St. Louis Rams wide receiver Danario Alexander and Missouri Governor Jay Nixon. I'm extrapolating, here, but I think there's a non-zero chance Governor Nixon owns Alexander in fantasy football. 

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Coach Steve Spagnuolo reports that the governor said, "Put some plays in for Danario"; having seen my share of 24-hour cable news that appears to be more than enough evidence to suggest that Jay Nixon is attempting to use his influence to take an unlawful advantage in Jefferson City's wheeling-and-dealingest fantasy football league. 

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Sure, he might suggest it's because Nixon and his kids both went to Alexander's alma mater, the University of Missouri, but keep in mind that I'm also a Mizzou alum, and Alexander's lawyers have never once even forwarded my letters to his home address, not even after the judge threw out that whole misunderstanding about the photographs. 

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"He seems to be a real solid kid," Nixon says. "[I'm] excited to see him play in the NFL." Because he drafted him?

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Thus concludes my audition tape for Headline News. Look for me on the Sunday Overnight edition of Kidnapped Girls and Shouting starting next month. 

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