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St. Louis Rams Tried Their Best To Ruin Valentine's Day... With Rampage

Did you celebrate Valentine's Day with a half-man, half-ram? Let's hope you were spared.

Rampage.
Rampage.

The St. Louis Rams just finished up a pathetic 2-14 season, canned their head coach, and are embroiled in a highly public lease negotiation that may have the whole franchise uprooted and moved to Los Angeles in the next 3 years.

What better way to say "I Love You" than have a marketing creation surprise your partner with some flowers, right?

Rams fans, the team FINALLY has your back:

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A couple of things we have to point out here...

1) The Cardinals have done this with Fredbird for several years now. It's cute because your girlfriend or boyfriend grew up with Fred and probably have fond memories of the mascot. Rampage is 2 years old and brings back memories of... what? Fendi Onobun?

2) A hundred bucks? Have some dignity, Rampage. Hell, if you're including the dozen roses, It might be worth it to just have you drop these off and forget the photo-op. That might have been cheaper than FTD.

3) Mascots are supposed to be big and goofy. Having a regular body with a huge ram head not only violates good mascot design, but might just make him the creepiest mascot in sports.

4) Jeff Fischer woud have never approved this. He gets his lovers nothing for V-Day. And they like it. I'd be surprised if this isn't the last time Rampage is out in St. Louis delivering fresh bouquets of flowers.

5) Let's hope the Rams' offensive line wasn't protecting the vases.

Sorry.

Happy belated Valentine's Day, Rams fans.