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2012 Super Bowl Halftime Show: Madonna Was Performing Before Nicki Minaj Was Born

Look: I get it. It's been a while since I've been fond of the Super Bowl halftime show performer, and I'm not surprised that 2012, which will feature Madonna—as well as Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., whose blood she's been sucking for sustenance prior to the release of her new single, "Give Me All Your Luvin"—on stage, is no different. This continues the Super Bowl's trend of choosing figures who are old enough that they're unlikely to cause a major controversy on stage, one that was broken only when the Black Eyed Peas, who everyone in the entertainment industry is convinced everyone else loves, performed last year.

This is all apparently with the goal of promoting her new album, MDNA, which—and thanks for this, Wikipedia—began when she told Facebook, "I need to move. I need to sweat.... I'm on the lookout for the maddest, sickest, most badass people to collaborate with." Those people, as it turns out, included a French D.J. named Martin Solveig and the executive producers of the Super Bowl.

Granted: Paul McCartney, one the last halftime show performers I truly enjoyed, was performing before Madonna was born. But I wouldn't compare Madonna to Wings, let alone the Beatles.