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Janoris Jenkins Earns An Onion Article, Has Finally Arrived

Look, maybe you didn't believe Janoris Jenkins was a Top 10 talent when he was first drafted, by the St. Louis Rams, in the second round as their default High Risk High Reward guy. Maybe his interception of Matthew Stafford in Week 1 didn't even turn your opinion of him around. But what if I told you... that he had his own article in The Onion? It's true: After months of hard work and dedication, Janoris Jenkins has finally arrived: America's finest news source is joking about his promiscuity.


The article, in which Janoris Jenkins claims to skeptical teammates that he totally got laid midway through his interception return—by a super-hot, super-down-and-dirty babe—is only a one-paragraph brief, but Jenkins is only a week into his NFL career; it's important, as we've said all along, to be patient as he develops the ability to cover NFL wide receivers and also appear in satirical news articles about his sexual proclivities.


One game, one interception, one The Onion article—whatever your opinion of the pick back in April, it's hard to argue that Janoris Jenkins isn't off to a fine start.